On Your Whey....

"She sends me blue valentines,
"To remind me of my cardinal sin.
"I can never wash the guilt,
"Or get these bloodstains off my hands,
"And it takes a lot of whiskey,
"To make these nightmares go away.

Tis the season to be merry, or at least mildly contrary. The lovers love, the indifferent conceal to to be indifferent and the lonely listen to good music and thank the lord that they don't have to make the dash to the vivo down the street and make an empty purchase of dead flowers. Cut down in their prime only to wilt in the mouldy vase of a dissatisfied lover. Flowers. The symbol of no more. Propped against a gravestone, thrown to the unfortunate next to be wed and the gift of man who no longer cares. Tis a meek existence....

He drinks himself into a stupor, only realising in his inebriated state what a waste he has made of his life. Tied down to a woman he is indifferent about for the sole reason of his lack of backbone. His perpetual fear of being alone. His resentment for her grows, every movement she makes is multiplied in his mind. The scratch of her nails along her supple neck sounds like 100 fingernails scrapping down a blackboard and every several seconds a nail breaks and not only does the sound send shivers down his back but the sight of the brittle polished nail shattering sends him over the edge. He jettisons out of his chair and towards her. Unable to take this torture anymore he stands above her, knuckles marbled white and red and what does he do? Nothing, just stands and takes it...

*Onemanandhischeese doesnt condone domestic violence.

But for all you romancers who are blissfully in love on this day, that celebrates the death of the martyr Mr Valentine, hope is not gone. In todays society of heavy social drinking many women might be worried that the full romance of the evening may not be met. But worry no longer ladies as Austian brewers from Brauerei Egg have come up with this....

Cheesy beer. Well not exactly, whey beer. One of the main by products of cheese making whey can pose a tricky waste product as you can just wash it down the drain as it is quite acidic. So this Austrian brewer has decided to ferment and use it in his beer. Possibly why it has a low alcohol content is while there is still some sugar in the whey, in the form of lactose, for a more alcoholic brew dextrose can be added to help the ferment. The lack of whey products on the market is peculiar, as it is claimed to have a similar probiotic content of the ridiculously expensive yakult. Why not crank it up another level distill the whey. It is said that the alcohol in Baileys comes from fermented whey, but when I got in contact with Diageo they had nothing to say on that matter but did let me know of their fabulous product range. Its like hitting your head against a wall trying to get information from any large company the paranoia is insane. Sooner or later God is gonna cut them down....

Like hitting your head against a wall, or at the least a drinks tray...