Jackass

When you think of things of great wealth one of the last things you would think off would be a donkey. Many a time as I strode through the pouring rain to make it through to a one on one with the goalkeeper only to have my boot catch the muddy turf and fall flat on my face. DONKEY! DONKEY! DONKEY! they would chant as I lay there, the mud hiding the tears on my cheeks. It hard to imagine that they are making a reference to, maybe the fact that the donkey was once responsible for the wealth of the Egyptians due to it being the means for transport of precious metals carried from Africa by donkeys? Or maybe it was them parodying my twisting silky dribbling referring to the donkeys carrying silk along the 'Silk Road' from Pacific Ocean to the Mediterranean, but I feel they were using it in the vain of the derogatory slant it has become. But fear not donkey lovers as the worth of donkeys is again to rise....

DONKEY CHEESE

It has taken the throne as the worlds most expensive cheese. I have touched on this before in the usual roundabout way here, but there is a new king in town and that king is 'Pule'. Pule comes from the Serbian word for 'foal'. Cue donkey fact....In the desert environment a donkey is able to hear the call of another donkey 60 miles away, they have far larger ears than horses.

But back to the cheese... This donkeys cheese comes in at a whopping £1000/kg. But whats so special about these donkeys I hear you say? Nothing really it is just that there is a terrible yield from donkey milk due to the very low percentage of fat and protein available. No wonder the coachman in Pinochio set up Pleasure Island. But surely everyone is a winner, you get to play pool, drink, smoke, fight, gamble and then when you have made enough of a 'jackass' of yourself you turn into a donkey and produce some of the most expensive cheese in the world. This is basically a metaphor for my life....

Another reason for why the cheese may cost so much is the danger that surrounds the milking of the donkeys. Due to there cautious and untrusting nature they are forever bucking their legs and this would be hazardous during milking as they would be forever kicking off their milking clusters. This could lead too many pathogens such as escherichia coli and salmonella getting into the milk through fecal contamination. ie Pony crap....